My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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