what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
