Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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