The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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