first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
