We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
