peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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