actually, I'm a sock model
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
