Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
