Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
