question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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