he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
