AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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