what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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