if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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