Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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