So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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