its not stalking. its research.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize