We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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