I'll bet she douches with gravy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
