yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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