Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
