I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
