Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
