We're like a lot better than the average bears
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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