garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize