i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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