I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
