i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
