I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
