? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
