You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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