Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
