Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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