He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
