dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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