$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
