Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
