there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
