Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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