The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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