Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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