a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
