I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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