Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize