hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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