I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
