I didn't shave. On purpose
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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