haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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