i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
