Midget sex pt 2 tonight
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
