u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
