I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
