why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
