I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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