I am puke
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
