I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
