Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
