I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
