Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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