i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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