Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
