He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
