I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
